i'm no longer on speaking terms with my father. i've lost all respect for him.

i still havent made up my mind when im going to o it, frankly speaking it wouldnt be planned i suspect, ill just do it. end my life. sans legacy.

who cares. *shrug*

Paimana Bideh Ki Khumaar Astam..

i want you.

like i said, ill write here until i try to get over you. i'm realizing i cant be there. online, on facebook, just around you. a part of me is glad you leave for grad school soon so maybe ill be able to resist talking and hanging out with you more often.

there's H and he's perfect you know? we like the same movies and the same jokes (you and i dont share the same sense of humor at times) and if i were to ever imagine being with someone in bed i find myself cuddling upto you, there we'll fit.

when i ran into you this summer my first thought was thank goodness i didnt wear the mismatched flipflops i was going to throw on getting icecraem with bina. come to think of it :) you looked okay, just okay. who wears all black?

the next time i saw what was i thinking? what were YOU thinking? us meeting up over drinks? honestly. What is wrong with me? the weird thing is you were at your most gallant - for a week after. and then. confusion. again.

The world is too fragile for people to be untrue. There is too much at stake and life is too short for lies. You are the worse kind of person in the world because you wasted my heart.

k,

i suppose the distance helps and you have more pride than i do so you keep away

and i make pathetic attempts to recover. the sadist in me is hoping you're drowning youself in a bottle.

no, not really. never. you're too good for that. even if you're completely inept otherwise. and emotionally sparse.

fuck.

is it so obvious i want to talk to you right now? cuddle you and watch you sleep?

i suppose this isn't helping my obsession is it? that's what it's become even if you're too polite to say so. some insane obsession with you. ugh.

and i was supposed to take on the world. not sit and pine for a man who doesnt tuck in his shirts and still want to have his babies.

x

babe, i'm awful like this, and i detest myself for loving you the way i do, you bastard.

fuck, i'm going to miss you so much and there are going to be withdrawl pains. yech. *smooch*

so i'll just write to you here until i get bored with you

so okay i'm in the mood to bake but everything looks good and you want to do it ALL during finals well but JUST look at this picture

they're chocolate orange cupcakes

yum, im going to make some after finals. yay!

you can find the recipe here

hello, hello all you wonderful non existant readers

i have decided to start blogging

ta-daaa